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Name: Kale

Race: Hylian

Age: 31

Location: Lives on the rich side of Hyrule Town

Kale makes his home among the Hylian aristocrats and feeds them. He feeds them health food and also feeds them lies about the food he sells, claiming that his produce can extend your life, his potatoes cure most diseases, and his water is different that regular water, is has more oxygen in it.

He grew up on the wealthy side, but when his father died, he left the house and family's fortune to Kale's older brother, Fructo. Kale lived with Fructo for a while, but always resented having to depend on his brother. He took out a loan, bought a shop, and opened a grocery store, making outrageous claims to bring in business.

Kale stocks so-called "special" varieties of regular food like potatoes or apples, which he claims can make you loose hundreds of pounds or regain lost hair, right alongside exotic dishes like octorock legs, skeleton fish, or deep-fried moblin ears. He keeps barrels of good-smelling herbs and shelves of beautiful produce outside his shop to lure in customers. His grocery is usually pretty full of gullible rich people who for some reason haven't realized that his products don't do what they claim to.

Link can usually choose from a few weird foods to buy for large prices, like Goron Rock cake, Octorock Sautée, or Peahat Petal Salad. Eating these delicacies restores his health slightly, does nothing, or makes him sick randomly.

Fun Facts: - Kale doesn't actually ever leave the city to find rare food like he claims, he just orders it from vendors he has contact with. - He first became interested in health food when a new chef started working at his parents' house after his brother Fructo demanded that their old chef be dedicated to cooking only sweets for Fructo. - Kale lives in a small flat over his grocery. All the food downstairs makes it smell pretty good. - His mother still lives with Fructo, but often shops at Kale's grocery and brings back health food, much to Fructo's disgust.